Tuesday, November 14, 2017

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Top:  Target  |  Denim:  Gap  |  Cape Scarf:  Madewell and here  |  Booties:  Franco Sarto  |  Bag:  Henri Bendel  |  Necklace:  Gorjana  |  Watch:  Daniel Wellington  |  Sunnies:  Ray-Ban

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John and I enjoyed a trip over to VT the other weekend.  We had lunch, shopped (found a baby bag!) and walked along some beautiful parks.  And as much as I'd like to elaborate on the excitement of that weekend, I wanted to share with you a bit of an emotional struggle I've been having recently.


This may seem more like a ramble than a well concise post, but I'm just lost with being pregnant.  I feel like I've been checking things off our usual home to-do and prep list for the coming year and transition into being parents which has helped my mind stay busy and feel accomplished.  I mean you do realize I love lists and getting things done, but I'm into my 25th week of pregnancy and I'm feeling a bit lost.  I thought I'd have an exciting pregnancy glow about now, but I'm not (also probably due to the terrible skin and the migraines as of late).  Call it hormones, mood swings or whatever, but I'm literally just not excited.  People told me I would love feeling the baby kick, or when John first feels it kick, but I just find it interesting and as a matter of fact.  Nothing where it melts my heart and helps me grow and bond with the baby.  Doctors appointments don't pull it out of me either.  I literally almost cried at my 20 week appointment because I was told I was (only) halfway there.  Not to mention I'm not looking forward to going every two weeks or week or whatever it is.  I mean if you knew me in person (some of you do).  I love kids.  I love babies and yes at times I'm glad to hand them back over to their parents, but friends will vouch for me that I'm the first to hold their child when I see them and will wait until the last minute to hand them back over or share.  Which has me thinking about ours.  Perhaps it's because I don't know the sex of the baby or haven't picked out a name (that fell off the radar a few months ago) or possibly that I'm not preparing all the little clothes or reading every book.  Maybe it's all those things...who knows.  As of right now I'm doing my best to spur some excitement in the baby department, but it's difficult as I'm truly not enjoying this pregnancy world that I always hear so much about or that I would have completely expected of myself.  It's also been great to have such wonderful friends during this time.  I am relieved to know that many of my friends too, didn't enjoy their pregnancy for various reasons.  That it just isn't me.  I'm not the only one.  With that being said many of them are all across the spectrum of family. Not yet begun, trying, just starting to just completing.  Those who are moms all enjoy being a mom and having a family.  It's nice to see that it's all worth it in the end and I look forward to the moment I finally get there as well, however long it may take me.

4 comments :

  1. Hang in there, Shannon! Pregnancy is soo tough, but you're doing a great job rocking it (you look amazing!) and are undoubtedly going to be the best mommy ever! Thinking and praying for you! xo,
    Bridget

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    Replies
    1. Thanks B! I'm hoping to turn a corner and enjoy it. It will be a great to be a mom, just hopefully have to pass this little bump in the road. Thanks for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers. I hope your family is all doing well this holiday season!

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  2. It is completely okay to feel that way, and does not make you any less of a mom. People used to cringe when I said I hated being pregnant, they told me I would forget about it in the end and it would be worth it. They were correct about it being worth it, but over two years out I still remember how much I hated it. It did make the “end is in sight” of labor and delivery a lot easier.
    If you need to chat I’m still at Paperdolls a few days a week and could get coffee decaf or regular sometime.

    Hang in there,
    Meg (your old barista)

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  3. Thanks Meg! I’m sure it’ll be the same for me - it’d be great to catch up soon. I always love running into you! Happy holidays!

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